Relationship Counseling Goals and Approach

Gottman Certified Couples Therapy

We have developed our counselling/coaching approach around the research of Dr. John Gottman, Ph.D., who has spent 38 years studying what works in relationships. The author or co-author of 178 published academic articles and author of 37 books, he is a world-renown expert in the field of relationships. Among others, he has appeared on Oprah, Good Morning America, Today and The CBS Morning News as well as having had articles featured in numerous magazines. (Some people may find his name familiar from Malcolm Gladwell’s bestselling book, Blink, where Dr. Gottman’s work was featured in chapter one.) Because of our extra training we are called Certified Gottman Couples Therapists

Dr. Gottman’s scientific, non-traditional and positive ‘nuts and bolts’ approach to working with couples ensures that you are provided with tools that get results. See our Assessments page for examples of tools provided for every couple.

Topics will include:
1. Understanding personality differences
2. How to build passion and love back into the relationship
3. How to solve or dialogue effectively about any issue you face
4. Learning about love languages and how to discover yours
5. How to process failed bids for connection
6. Building a shared meaning system that propels you into a more fulfilling future.

You will learn:

  • How your personality styles affect your relationship and what to do about it
  • simple negotiation techniques
  • How to identify and find antidotes for the “Four Horsemen”: Contempt, Criticism, Defensiveness, and Stonewalling
  • About your “Friendship Profile”, the “Conflict Profile”, and the “Shared Meanings Profile”
  • How to resolve the “physiological flooding” and anxious feelings that accompany many relationships
  • To successfully dialogue about grid-locked conflicts
  • To establish six social skills necessary for effective conflict resolution
  • To love unconditionally with no strings attached
  • Stages of forgiveness and how to apologize and mean it
  • How to deepen “the friendship System”
  • How to develop and create a shared system of values and meanings

    • We also offer professional advice and guidance on dealing with affairs, depression, addiction, trauma and violent behavior.

    You will be expected to:

  • Do weekly homework
  • Participate fully in all appointments
  • Commit to having a better relationship
  • Inform your coach if you are not understanding something or if he is missing something

    • If you are ready to undertake these expectations and would like to see the above tools and principles developed in your relationship, call us at 604-539-5277 to set up an initial consultation.

    Don’t live in our area? We can still help — see our page on marathon counselling sessions and call us today for further information.